It sneaks up on me sometimes. I’m just sitting silently, minding my own business, and it ambushes me from nowhere, a feeling of warm contentment. I know, that may not seem significant. So you’re content, you’re probably thinking. Good for you but what’s the big deal?
I’m not a naturally cheerful person. No, I’m not morose and depressed all the time either. I tend to be emotionally steady, I guess. I deal with things as they come. I manage disappointment like a pro and chart out new plans when fear threatens to strike. Happiness is usually the result of a great cup of coffee (preferably a white mocha or a caramel macchiato) or a fun day with my husband. (Can you say IKEA? Yeah, it’s my happy place.) (more…)
This year, my husband kept asking me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him I didn’t want anything. It’s been a roller coaster year for me and I just couldn’t think of some present-like thing he could buy for me. Most of what I want are things that will (or might) come later: I want a quiet place to write. I want two cats (I just recently got past wanting the other one back. It took a while but I got there.). I want a writing career (that was also something I just admitted to myself this year). But those are not things that come in a nice pretty box. So I told him I didn’t want a present. And I honestly meant it.
Sometimes I’m just so grateful to be alive. Since I was a kid, I’ve had those moments where I just think I’m so glad to be here. I’m so glad I am here in this world where I might be able to make a difference. I grow so overwhelmingly thankful that I can see, and hear, and walk, and talk—all those abilities that most people take for granted.
Most people give thanks for emotional blessings—friends, family, etc. Or financial aspects—a good job, a house. And while I’m definitely grateful for those, I start with the very basic: I’m alive. I don’t know why I think like that, but I always have. Because I’m alive, I can make a difference in this world. I can support a great cause or raise awareness or help some person I happen to meet. I can listen and be a friend and offer advice.
Not only am I alive, but I can walk. From the start, I’ve had an interesting relationship with walking. (more…)
