Unless you live off the grid, you knowÂ there have been a lot of tragic accidentsÂ lately. And Iâ€™ve seen a tonÂ of reactions. Iâ€™ve seen so many people laying blame and almost as many declaring â€œshame on youâ€ to the blamers.
I can’t be one of them.
Don’t get me wrong, I would never say that laying blame in an accident is acceptable. But I can’t find it in me to shame the blamers.
Because although some people may be laying blame in order to make themselves feel superior, I believe most of them have a different motivation: fear.
Overwhelming, suffocating fear.
They need someone to be responsible. So they point fingers at the parents, the organization, anyone, any entity. They need somethingÂ to blame.
Because if thereâ€™s no one to blame, it means that terrible tragedy was simply a random accident that could happen to anyone, even to them.
Theyâ€™re afraid to live in a world where horrible tragedies can happen through no oneâ€™s fault. They’re terrified to know they could lose a loved one at any time even if they do everything right.
Itâ€™s an overwhelming thought to anyone, especially a person who is responsible for another human being.
So they point fingers. They declare, â€œThe parents should have been watching better. That zoo shouldâ€™ve had better security measures.â€
But what theyâ€™re really saying is, â€œIâ€™m scared to know that could happen to me, to my child.â€
Iâ€™m not saying itâ€™s okay to fabricate blame where there is none. Iâ€™m simply saying, I understand. I understand the fear behind their inappropriate reactions.
This world can be a terrifying place. And if we can just find some reason for tragedies, some underlying cause, then the world doesn’t feel so out of control. It feels manageable.
So every time someone points a finger and makes accusations, I hear what they’re really saying: “I’m afraid.”
I can’t shame someone for reacting in fear. Because that is a most human reaction–flawed, but human.
AndÂ I’m a flawed human too.