creatures of the road

I drive a lot these days. And when you consider how that driving takes place in the DC metro area, you have to agree it’s like Driving 2.0. We’re not talking peaceful country roads. It’s madness out there. Thankfully, I only venture out safely ensconced in Luna and armed with one assumption: most drivers are idiots.

I’m never disappointed.

There’s a whole jungle a lot of strange creatures out there. Like:

The GPS Drivers. Given that DC is a major tourist destination, we seem to have a lot of these. They’re the ones who drive 10 under the speed limit, braking intermittently. Until they realize they need to make a right turn. From the left lane. Then they cut off whoever is in their way (because obviously no one is allowed to turn around. Ever. If you miss your turn, you’re done.)

The Rockers. You know the ones. They’re so busy headbanging to their music (headbanging, really? Who does that anymore?), it doesn’t seem to matter the light turned green. Five minutes ago. I even followed one rocker who braked in time with his song. That’s taking music appreciation to a whole new level.

The Jerks. These people have one goal in mind: get to the destination. That’s it. It matters little whether they nearly cause an accident. You can pick them out of the traffic pretty easily. They’re the ones swerving around other cars, changing lanes the moment one lane starts to slow down the slightest bit.

The Serial Multi-Taskers. I like to multi-task, I do. But taking your coat off, fixing your hair, and keeping an eye on the kids is probably a bit much to do at once. At least if you want to stay in your own lane. I don’t want to be demanding, but I’d rather not die on my commute.

The Responsibles. They’re the rarest creatures of all. They pay attention while driving. They don’t cut people off. They even *gasp* use their turn signals. They’re peculiar creatures, often gawked at by the others in the jungle. The Jerks find them insufferable; The Rockers believe them dull. But they soldier on.

It’s a jungle out there. (10 points if you’re picturing Adrian Monk right now).

What kind of creatures inhabit your asphalt jungle?

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