When I was 7, I got my first pair of glasses. It wasn’t exactly a surprise. When your parents and grandparents all have less-than-perfect vision, no one’s shocked that you need glasses.
I married a man with perfect vision. He can open his eyes in the morning and see clearly. It’s annoying. Especially when he says, “Really? You can’t see that?” No dear. Without some form of vision correction, my world is a bunch of fuzzy shapes. Thank you for reminding me how well you can see everything.
And it occurred to me all the things I’ve learned over my nearly 20 years of vision correction. So here it is. A few things we “four eyes” know that you perfect vision folk will never understand. Life lessons that came from our imperfect eyeballs.
1. Things change. Like that curb outside the eye doctor’s office that seemed so normal when you skipped up it on your way in. But when you come out with your new prescription, it’s suddenly a mile long and your foot is not where it should be.
2. Fashion is a fickle creature. One day, you’re convinced that you’ll cease to exist without those big, round, pink frames. And a decade later, you’re wondering “What was I thinking??” (Why no, I don’t have personal experience here. What in the world would make you think that? Excuse me while I burn some pictures.)
3. Things break. Those of us whose lives have depended on some pieces of metal and plastic know how terrifying a cracking or popping sound can be. A simple pop can mean we’re blind for the rest of the day. Or worse, we’re going to have to wear tape on our glasses. Yes. We are aware of how dorky it looks, thank you very much, world.
4. Things are not as they seem. Yes, you might think I was winking at you. But the truth is, I’ve got a runaway eyelash stuck on my contact and it feels like an ice pick in my eye. And no, those aren’t tears. I just put in some eye drops. Things are not as they seem.
Those are just four of the many things I’ve seen with my imperfect eyes. Things that you 20/20 folks will never understand the same way we do. So go ahead. Live your lives thinking you see clearly. But when you get older and the doc says you need glasses, we’ll be here. Plotting to “accidentally” sit on your glasses. Okay, not really. We’ll help you adjust. And maybe, if you’re nice, we’ll show you some of the tricks we’ve learned over the years.
But don’t be surprised if we take a moment to call you “four eyes.” Even the most well-adjusted people can appreciate a moment of sweet revenge.