Happy February! As this is the month in which we celebrate Valentine’s Day, I thought it would be especially appropriate if I shared an Agatha Christie quote about her husband. (Her second husband. The good one.)
“I thought then, and indeed have thought ever since, what a wonderful person Max is. He is so quiet, so sparing with words of commiseration. He does things. He does just the things you want done and that consoles you more than anything else could.”
Context: After her first marriage ended, Agatha seized the freedom to travel, leaving her daughter in the care of Agatha’s sister. She was visiting an archaeologist and his wife in Iraq when she first met Max Mallowan, the archaeologist’s assistant. He was promptly tasked with showing her around and escorting her from one city to another.
They were in Greece when Agatha received a set of telegrams informing her that her daughter, Rosalind, was ill with pneumonia. While arranging return travel, Agatha sprained her ankle rather badly. Max immediately changed his plans so he could accompany Agatha back to England and provide any assistance she might need along the way. This quote falls in the midst of that story, as Agatha is considering the kindness Max showed then and in later years.
Why I Chose It: Well, it’s about love, for one thing. I appreciate seeing people speak positively about their spouses, emphasizing their positive traits. And it shows what Agatha appreciated in a partner—specifically, the consideration Max demonstrated. Since they weren’t married during the story she’s recounting, it also reveals what might’ve first attracted Agatha to Max.
As someone who is married to a kind and considerate human, I can tell you, those traits are far too often overlooked in favor of the flashier ones. But in my view, kindness is the purest and most beautiful trait in a spouse. Pretty words and grand gestures are great, but when you’ve sprained your ankle and are worried about a loved one, you want someone who’s there, who’s looking out for you, choosing small, considerate actions over words. That’s the kind of love that stands the test of time.
Psst. Bridget. You get to hear from one of my sisters today. Here’s what Jaime Wright wants to say to you:
Hey. So. Here’s what’s on my mind. Have you written to your husband lately?
Ok, I know, I know. You don’t know him yet, you say. I get that. But get this: he’s probably out there. Somewhere. And it’s time you start writing him.
Well, the idea is simple–if he’s on your mind, you’re less likely to make a stupid mistake. Really. I mean, picture this: you’re on a date when you’re sixteen and you’re excited about your new boyfriend. He moves in for the kiss and maybe more. You’re thrilled, you’re terrified, you’re okay with it, you’re not. Everything you’ve ever been taught collides with everything you ever wanted and then BAM!! HE appears. Not literally, but in your mind. The man you’re going to marry someday.
You see the choices you make now will affect your relationship with him later. Picture it like a bag of dirty laundry you dump all over the floor of your honeymoon room. Every t-shirt has a name on it. Your first kiss. Your first – um – yeah.
Sort of changes your perspective, doesn’t it? ‘Cause that would be mortifying. Yet it happens in so many new marriages and for some reason, society seems to be ok with it. But why isn’t it cheating? It is. Stealing actually. From the man—from your man. And you’re the thief.
So write him a letter. Get to know him now. Tell him what you’re hoping for. Explain what you’re waiting for. Sure, waiting isn’t popular. In this culture, it almost doesn’t make sense. I mean, who buys a pair of jeans without trying them on first? But your future husband isn’t a pair of jeans. And he’ll cherish new. If he’s a stand up stellar dude, he’ll accept used, forgive it even, but used definitely isn’t first best.
He’s worth it. You’re worth it. Be independent. Stand up to society. Realize the value in the treasure that is you. Tell him today that you’re anxious to meet him. And, that next day, see if he doesn’t pop into your mind, with a tip of his head, a concerned look on his face, and a hopeful breath that you’ll remember … he’s your future.
Professional coffee drinker, Jaime Wright, resides in the hills of Wisconsin writing historical romance with a distinct emphasis on suspense. Her day job finds Jaime directing an HR Office and developing her employees and their training programs. She’s wife to a rock climbing youth pastor, mom to a coffee-drinking little girl and a bottle-drinking baby boy, and completes her persona by being an admitted Facebook, Twitter, Pinterest, and Blogspot junkie. Jaime is a member of ACFW, enjoys mentorship from a best-selling author, and has the best critique partners EVER! (yes, that’s an exclamation point)
In her “down time”, Jaime reads voraciously, socializes incessantly, drinks coffee addictively, and overuses “-ly” words excessively.
What’s Dear Bridget all about? It’s a series on my blog composed of letters to a hypothetical teen girl named Bridget. Why Bridget? It means strong. And it represents the current generation of young women. These letters are my attempt to break through the chaos and the crap that’s flying at today’s young woman in order to offer advice and encouragement, from me and other incredible women who remember what it was like to be in her shoes.If you’re a teen girl and you’ve got a question or issue you’d like us to address, let me know. Just click on the contact button (that round envelope icon at the top of the sidebar) and send me your thoughts. If you’re an awesome adult woman who remembers those teen years clearly and would like to write to Bridget, feel free to contact me and tell me about yourself.